Mark Twain Quotes

"The secret of getting ahead is getting started."

"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything."

"Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see."

"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect."

"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."

"The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up."

"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear."

"Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well."

"The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated."

"Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside."

"Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life."

"The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why."

"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform."

"Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities."

"A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read."

"The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read."

"Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times."

"I have never let my schooling interfere with my education."

"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living; the world owes you nothing; it was here first."

"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect."

"To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence."

"The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter."

"A successful book is not made of what is in it, but what is left out of it."

"The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time."

"Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been."

"Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it."

"When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear."

"The secret of getting ahead is getting started."

"If you have nothing to say, don't say anything."

"It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them."

"Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it."

"A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory."

"Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest."

"The lack of money is the root of all evil."

"Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get."

"Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please."

"The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog."

"There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress."

"When in doubt, tell the truth."

"A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is still putting on its shoes."

"It is better to have old second-hand diamonds than none at all."

"Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person."

"The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug."

"Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing the matter with this, except that it ain't so."

"The finest clothing made is a person's own skin, but, of course, society demands something more than this."

"A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval."

"The trouble with the world is not that people know too little; it's that they know so many things that ain't so."

"All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure."

"Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned."

"Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest."

"The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow."

"Humor is mankind's greatest blessing."

"Loyalty to the country always. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it."

"A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds."

"It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech."

"The best of us would rather be popular than right."

"The greatest of all pleasures is to read."

"Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits."

"The finest quality of life is to be able to enjoy the simple things."

"Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give opportunity for more."

"The human tendency to regard little things as important has produced very many big things."

"Prosperity is the best protector of principle."

"The best way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it."

"Man will do many things to get himself loved; he will do all things to get himself envied."

"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend."

"There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics."

"The secret of success is to make your vocation your vacation."

"Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience."

"The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause."

"Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live."

"To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with."

"Good judgment is the result of experience and experience the result of bad judgment."

"A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way."

"The best way to know a man is to travel with him."

"When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain."

"The finest joy is found in making others happy."

"It is wiser to find out than to suppose."

"Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often."

"The secret of success is to make your work your play."

"Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered—either by themselves or by others."

"A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation."

"The trouble is not in dying for a friend, but in finding a friend worth dying for."

"To be great is to be misunderstood."

"There are no grades of vanity, there are only grades of ability in concealing it."

"The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become."

"Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eyewitness."

"Books are for people who wish they were somewhere else."

"Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness."

"The secret of success is making your vocation your vacation."

"A good marriage is one where each partner secretly suspects they got the better deal."

"The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner."

"A man's true character comes out when he's drunk."

"Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example."

"The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco."

"It is not best that we should all think alike; it is difference of opinion that makes horse races."

"The finest way to make yourself miserable is to compare yourself with others."

"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man."

"The secret of success is getting started."

"Forgiveness is the key to freedom from resentment."

"Never regret anything that made you smile."